Why Do Men Rape?

Rape, a heinous crime makes me ask just
a few thousand questions. What is the
motive behind a rape? What does the
culprit get out of the barbaric act? What is
a psychology of a rapist? Is it a power
play? Is it a way to vent out frustration
and anger? Asserting control and
dominance over a physically weaker
being, what has 'he, a man' been trying to
prove over years? What is a rapist's
childhood like? What was the role of a
woman in his life? How was/is his wife,
sister, daughter like? Did he hate women
since his growing years so much that he
tried to take revenge on them through
raping every other woman? What triggers
committing of a rape?
All I understand is that it is the weak and
the insecure who tries to dominate and
hungers for power, it is the weak who is
not at peace. So, how can this weaker
being suppress an actually strong person
who has no ill-intentions? There is
certainly no pleasure in something like
rape. Unless your partner is happy how
can you derive happiness or pleasure out
of that physical intimacy? Can
rehabilitation help these mentally sick
beings? Can getting them spiritually-
inclined help them? Can any baba, guru or
God help them transform? Have these
rapists ever said a prayer? Can these
animals be transformed into being
human? Can this humiliating behaviour on
their part be pardoned? Why do we not
punish them twice as brutally so as to set
the right example? 'Kshama', or excusing
them is a crime. Letting them roam freely
is a crime, which brings as much disgust as
the crime itself.
I was in college when I first heard the
word 'mindfuck'. I understand the
meaning of it today. Every evening when
your concerned parents ask you to get
back home before dark, you know it's a
mindfuck. You retaliate but you know
they are right. You curse being born in a
country which is hypocrite about
respecting women. Every time you walk
on the street, you have to be alert of
who's walking next to you, behind you,
ahead of you, what if a car stops and pulls
you in it, what if someone brushes past
you inappropriately in a crowded public
transport, what if, what if, what if.. Now
that 'what if' day in and day out is a
mindfuck. This morning I was travelling in
the women's compartment of the metro
like any other day. A handbag of a woman
standing right behind me touched me. I
almost turned back in fury. Such was the
degree of my scare and insecurity. A
handbag of a woman in the women's
compartment of a metro scared me.
Unbelievable? No. This is the kind of
fright women of this country live in.
Courtesy: The great rapist clan of India.
Under the nose of seat of power such acts
are committed and what will the aam
aadmi do? Candle light marches? Ask 'Am
i just a body'? Sushma Swaraj asks for
hanging the accused in 30 days. Why 30
days? This can't be tolerated for even 30
minutes. Why are the Delhi police
allowing these rapists to cover their
faces? Unmask them, demands India. I
don't want a fast track courts but public
hanging of such ...s, and I run out of
words to define them. They cut her with
blades; used iron rods to beat her, her
intestines were dislocated. Is this true?
Are we still going to swallow this silently?
If they can't be handled by law then,
animal laws must apply to these rapists.
There should be fear in their mind before
doing it. Why pray for the girl? Why
should she survive? Do we even know
how to treat a girl who has faced what
only she has. And, you know what is
funny? Some movie director will cash on
the tragedy. What a shame. She is
courageous to wish for life and urging
'save me, I want to live'. 'This' is the
strength of a woman. Only if some
pseudo-men of this country would have a
realisation. What was her fault? She
wasn't dressed inappropriately, she didn't
invite attention, she was not drinking in a
pub; she only wanted to get home to her
family. Is that a crime?
I wonder if there is actually a God, if
prayers mean anything at all. I wonder
why we worship 'Shakti'. Faith and hope
are losing their meaning. Humanity is
long lost too. Not proud, but ashamed to
be an Indian today. My brain harps on
Amitabh's dialogue from 'sarkar'.. soch ko
maaro. Kill the thought. The thought of
rape needs to be killed. This is an excerpt
from a conversation I overheard in the
metro.
Woman A: I made my 10 year old son to
read about this incidence and explained
him right from wrong. Bewared him and
taught him how to respect women. I will
kill my son if he ever even looked at
women in a wrong way.
Woman B: Thank God that good sense
prevailed in the media and they didn't
show the girl's face but they must
uncover the rapists and hand them over
to public.
Woman A: The rapist’s wife died a few
years back. I am sure she didn't die but
must have been killed brutally by this
man only.
Woman B: This man has a disfigured
hand. This rape must have been an act
stemming from his own insecurities.
Woman A: if the girl dies it will account
for a murder. May be that is what they
wanted but she is a strong girl, she
survived.
I went to a self-defence workshop
conducted by the Women Cell at Moti
Nagar, Delhi as a college student. Men
wagging their member publicly in buses
or pulling over cars and popping it out
asking for directions, was a common sight
during my school days. I am talking about
this happening as early as 7:30 am in
summers. So, mind you, it's not about
the time of the day or night. And, as
young girls we would feel ashamed and
unsure of discussing it at home. I think it
is extremely important that parents and
teachers at school create a healthy
platform for sex education and address
sex-curious issues of children. While
curiosity is one of the major reasons why
rapes happen, 'I can get away with it'
attitude is another major factor that leads
to the disgusting attempt of rape.
I remember my mother telling me 'don't
smile or laugh on the road' when we
shared a joke. She said it attracts
attention and thus, you must not show
your happiness. As a young girl I thought
what is this world I live in? A world where
being happy is a crime. I wore suits to my
dance classes and my mother would not
let me step out if my dupatta was
wrapped around my neck, she'd say 'beta,
dupatta khol ke lo', spread the dupatta in
the front, cover up. I could not believe
that there were rules to wearing a simple
salwar kameez, all thanks to Indian men.
Here are the 3 reasons why men rape:
1) 'I can get away with it' attitude, the
weak judicial system and us, the society
who sits pretty not making noise when
these culprits are pardoned by the
system. We are as powerful as any
government in power. We are the
people: the voice of the country; they are
because of us not us, because of them.
2) The way we bring up a male child in our
society. Parents and schools are at fault
for not teaching men how to cook and
clean just as women, for telling them that
there is a difference between a man and
woman and their duties and
responsibilities are different. When your
father does not treat your mother right,
speak up. When a brother does not treat
his sister right, speak up. When a
boyfriend does not treat his girlfriend
right, speak up.
3) Hunger for power over the weaker:
this is only human nature. Everyone from
Akbar to the Alexander loved power, so
do these rapists. If you truly wish to
experience power, excercise power over
your 'indriyaan' or excercise self-control.
Only weak try and control others, the
strong exercises self-control.